chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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