When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
