Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
