i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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