i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
