just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
