You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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