Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
