Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
