I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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