His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize