Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
