Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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