THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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