it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize