i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm too high and old for this...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
