i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
