I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
