Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
