There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
