It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
