Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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