There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
