kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
