I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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