Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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