There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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