I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize