At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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