At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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