this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
