I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
