Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
