Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
babies were throwing up all over the place
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize