What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
