can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
