talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
