i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Welp...herpes.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
