Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
