Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
