having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
