Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
