dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
