I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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