I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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