nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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