i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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