So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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