I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
