So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
