I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he fucked my hip out of place.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
