I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
