Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
