Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Houston, we have a squirter
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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