She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
