Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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