K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
