Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
