How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
