Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize